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  Lirty Dies - Just whip your flurds.

What the heck are Lirty Dies ?!

Lirty Dies are what you get when you mix your basic national scandal with word-initialization-rejuxtaposition closely following the underlying precepts of harmony, alliteration and innuendo.

Lirty Dies follows a great political tradition: We're not quite sure what we're saying; you're not quite sure what you're hearing.

Some might say they are merely spoonerisms taken to ludicrous heights.

We think this is sad. Something comes over people when they learn to:

Whip their Flurds..or.. Spew up their Screech....

These are people who can:

Flo with the Go...with Mealthy Hinds and Lappy Hives...

People who....umm....

Follow their Hearts
(We'll let you do that one)


For over 40 years the Capitol Steps have been telling it like it is. Here's a sampling of new and old Lirty Dies. Come back often for these reminders of scandals and scoundrels past and present.


Democratic Hopefuls of 2019 So many Democrats are after the top job that you can't fit 'em all on a debate stage or even two. Stormy times are ahead.


Donald Trump Long before Donald Trump became a politician, he was just a run-of-the-mill rich and famous celebrity. We made fun of him back in the 1990's too.

New York Politics What city could possibly compete with Washington when it comes to scandal? New York gave it try when not one, but two of our favorite candidates tried to redeem themselves and return to public life: Anthony Weiner and Eliot Spitzer.


The Challengers of 2012 Every four years, the challenge of leading and inspiring the nation tempts truly great American men and women to run for president. Then, they realize how crazy that would be, and instead we get candidates like these.

The Two-Party System After three decades of mocking Democrats and Republicans, what could be better for us than having the Tea Party shake up the world of politics?


2009 — Quite a Year It was a year of scandals, from beginning to end — in politics, in sports, in entertainment, and in politics. (Did we mention politics?)

The 2008 Election The long, painful road to the election of 2008 ran past grumpy Republicans and disappointed front-runners as voters finally went for the pick of the Democrats.


The Sport of Baseball. The steroid scandals get worse and worse in the world of sports. Where will it end? Here's the real dope on what's going on inside American baseball.

Bush v. Gore. In the election of 2000, one man lost the popular vote yet won in the Supreme Court. And the other will be remembered as the guy who came between Cheney and Quayle.


Paris Hilton. Paris is an heiress who got stopped by a cop and wound up with her tail in jail...

O.J. Simpson. He killed two people -- or did he? -- and the jury just let him off. His unusual trial was also the subject of four songs on our album A Whole Newt World.


Clarence Thomas. He had a tough confirmation hearing before being appointed to the Supreme Court.

Mark Foley. The Florida Republican, defender of morality and child welfare, got a little bit too friendly with some Congressional pages.


Paula Jones. Having been denounced as "trailer-park trash" by both James Carville and Ann Coulter, Paula doesn't have many friends left.

Rick Santorum. The junior Senator from Pennsylvania won't rest until all America is safe from sin.


Jesse Jackson. The poetic preacher and moral example to America's youth.

California. The great state and the inspiring role models who live there.


Secret Agents. The CIA is changing chiefs in the midst of controversy over warrantless spying on Americans in the U.S.

The Kennedy Clan. When young Patrick ran his car off the road, he became just the latest Kennedy in trouble. This old Lirty Die was found in the archives, from several scandals and tragedies ago.


Enron. Those smart guys at America's seventh largest company. Ex-company.

Joycelyn Elders. As Surgeon General, she was outspoken on legalizing drugs and on safe-sex alternatives to condoms or abstinence.


Saddam Hussein. That madman from Iraq who fooled the CIA, the NSA, the President of the U.S. -- and even himself.

Osama Bin Laden. America's most wanted criminal of the new millennium.


© 2007-2018, Newport and Eaton;
© 1986-2006, Strauss and Newport



To hear LIRTY DIES and more from The Capitol Steps, purchase our newest album, Make America Grin Again For other LIRTY DIES try these albums: Orange Is the New Barack, What to Expect When You're Electing, Mock the Vote, How to Succeed in Congress Without Really Lying, Fiscal Shades of Gray, Take the Money and Run for President, Desperate Housemembers, Liberal Shop of Horrors, Obama Mia!, Campaign and Suffering, Springtime for Liberals, I'm So Indicted, Four More Years In The Bush Leagues, Papa's Got a Brand New Baghdad, Between Iraq and a Hard Place, When Bush Comes to Shove, One Bush, Two Bush, Old Bush, New Bush, It's Not Over til the First Lady Sings, First Lady and the Tramp, Unzippin' My Doo-Dah, Sixteen Scandals, Return to Center, A Whole Newt World, Lord of the Fries, The Joy of Sax, Fools on the Hill, 76 Bad Loans, Shiek, Rattle and Roll, and Shamlet.