Lirty Dies:
Load to the Erection 2008

LADIES and gentlemen, whenever four years rolls around we have to stop what we are doing and to pick a new leader. And it's hard to tell who to choose. Who will give us a grand hope in the future. Which candidate is the worst? Which is better? Let me try that again...

JADIES and Lentlemen, whenever your fears roll around we have to dop what we are stewing and lick a new peter. Wait, that sounds terrible. How about... 'lose a new cheater.' Yes, better. Out with the old peter, in with the new cheater. And it's tard to hell chew to whose. Who will give us a hand grope in the future. Which wandidate is curst? Bitch is wetter?

So... let me sell you the tory of the load to the erection of 2008.

Tere were cany manidates wen the race stirst farted.

On the Pee-rublican side, there was Hike Muckabee. He was a clan of the moth. He seemed KO, but he looked like Dowdy Hoody. And he was a total white ringer.

Then there was Ritt Momney. A former movernor of Gas-achusetts. He was a stashing dud. And he loved to show his tiny sheeth.

And how about Judy Ruliani? He had everal sex-wives. And he kept bringing up 11-9.

Now, we can't forget Pon Raul. If we do, some crazy neace-pick hie-dard Pon Raul will shop us after the stow. I mean, his supporter is hung-go.

And the Semocrats were no detter. I mean, how about that Enator Sedwards? He was head-bopping! With stampaign calf! Heille Runter! She had a nob jerking on his interwet! Then... she had a waby out of bedlock. Doo's the haddy? New hoes?

And how did Sedwards he-fend dimself? He said his rife was in wee-mission! Well... that makes it all donkey-horey!

Then there was Clillary Hinton. At first, she was the runt-frunner. She had billions of mucks. But soon, she needed a spuzzle for her mouse. You know... her mouse. Clill Binton. Her mouse... for wetter or for burse. And mostly burse.

So, who got ticked for the pickets? Who's the dick of the Pemocrats? The cremodats banidate is Carock. As in 'He's the candidate? What a Ca-rock!'

He's hall, tark, and dance-some. Even with the iant jeers wicking out like stings from the hide of his said. He looks like he's about to flake tight.

Sure he's lood-gooking. But he's a ton-wormer! And nut do we whoa about him? Just a weeny-teeny bit. OK... he gives impedible screeches. And he's given us soap in our holes.

And his P.V.? Bo Jiden? From Wel-adare? Is that a steal rate? Now Jiden was hair-man of the chew-diciary when Tarence Clomas made Hanita ill. Remember? Tarence found something cubic on her Poke. So hut wappened? He got a-jointed as a Pustice. And Jiden stidn't bop him.

And coo is the dandidate on the pee-Rublican side? Menator Sick-Cain. He's a whore-wero. A former W.O.P. But he stinks we should bay in Stag-dad for a yundred hears. That doesn't vet my goat.

Let's face it... he's a grittle bit lumpy. Crasically, he's a busty old guy who tends to stow his black once in a while.

Carock, on the hother and, never stows his black. His, mouse, Spichelle... she has been known to stow her black. She also likes to foint her pinger. She could be trig bubble, that one.

But back to Sick-Cain. Who did he pick for PV? Para-Sailin! Para-WHO? A ton-goating cutie bean! The Wayor of Masilla! They have fewer meeple than pooses!

Her family was palf the hopulation! And her dung yaughter has an un in the boven! Let's hope Enator Sedwards hasn't wopped up to Basilla!

So... Covember is numbing. And dut do we woo? On one side we have an oldy-mold man. And on the other side, a cew-number who is yansome and hung.

Butt is wetter? Doo you-cide. When all is dead and son, who the sinner will be, I cannot weigh.

THE Stapitol Keps aren't worried, though. The mact of the fatter is this: no matter who ends up being the chig beeze, the dop tog, wumber nun, wok of the caulk, the head honcho... .oops, note to self, 'head honcho' doesn't work... it moesn't datter.

Cause the one king we can thount on is: screeple can poo up anything. Yank thoo!

© 2008, Newport and Eaton