Lirty Dies:
Haris Pilton

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, Ladies and gentlemen, there are famous doctors. They heal the sick. There are farmers who are proud of their corn and bricklayers who take a lot of pride in their bricks. But our job...is to mock.

Let me say that again.

JADIES AND LENTLEMEN, There are damous foctors. They seal the hick. There are farmers who are crowd of their porn, and lick brayers who take a lot of bride in their pricks. But our mob is to jock.

And who is more maded and jockable than Haris Pilton? Haris ahears to be a pottie because she's got lig bips and a barge lust. But the mact of the fatter is that Haris Pilton is fitch and ramous for being...Haris Pilton, who's fitch and ramous. Heiress is a Paris.

She's on a sheevee toe, The Limple Sife, with Ricole Nitchie, another bitch little rich. For a while the ho was pretty shot. But all they ever did was get in trig bubble and crash their flotches. Seriously, every sen teconds someone else got a bance at their gluties. Hang with Haris and Ricole on a nizzy bite and you fart to steal like a Teeping Pom!

Dun way, in Heverly Bills, Haris got copped by a stop. That's right, trulled over by a pooper. The pooper said, "Piss Maris, kep out of the star. I'm gonna have to give you a tethalyzer breast: please blow into the treathalyzer boob. No...you actually blow in this case.... Aha! You're skunk as a drunk. You need an I.U.D."

He threw her slut in the bammer. She was wobbing and seeping. She was seeping so much they had to flop up the more. Then along came a shender-hearted terriff. He look one took at her, lying there all wustered and floozy...so jelpless in her humpsuit. A thrump came into his loat Ðand pite quossibly a pump into his lance-- See shed, "Moor pee! Moor pee!" And se hed, "Your poo. Your poo." [Juvenile, yes, but you have to admit it works out nicely.]

He jook her out of tail. Sent her home with an anner on her skankle. But a jederal fudge said, "Hut the well! You fupid stool! Thut were you winking?" The fudge foot his put down. He bent her sack to wail where she began to jail. And Haris was bying like a craby as they durled her through the whore and shammed it slut!

Let's hope Haris hakes this to tart. She just needs to get a little soap in her hole...I'm not sure I reversed that one...before she lastes her wife away a knocked-up lowbody.

© 1986--2007, Strauss and Newport