| Week of July 6, 2009 | * | Vol. 15, No. 43 |
| Week of July 6, 2009 | * | Vol. 15, No. 43 |
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NORTH KOREA'S
Dear Leader Kim Jong-il
had a blast
this Fourth of July,
lighting firecrackers and
launching missiles
with his
favorite son.
He recently named
Kim Jong-un
to succeed him,
the next in a line of
crazy leaders
the U.S. can look forward to dealing with.
Week of June 29
IN POLITICS
timing is everything.
South Carolina's
Gov. Mark Sanford
spilled the beans on his affair in time to save fellow Republican
Senator John Ensign
from further embarrassment
by pushing him off the front pages.
If Sanford had just stayed out
hiking
a few days longer,
Week of June 22
SWINE FLU
is officially a
pandemic.
The government is handling preparations with at least as much
care and diligence
as during the
avian flu
scare.
Should you
Week of June 15 SOMALI PIRATES are having tough times, matey. Over a hundred have been captured and dumped in Kenya. They've had to go abroad to find work. And now they're finally turning to the international community with an appeal for help. Arghhh!
Week of June 8 HERE'S HOW to balance the budget for health care reform: Exclude and deny coverage for all avoidable, self-inflicted medical conditons.
Week of June 1 NANCY PELOSI keeps trying to back away from the waterboarding controversy. Not so fast, says the CIA. After all, the whole point of briefing Congressional leaders is to be able to say "we told you so" once the secrets become public. The newest proponent of full disclosure is Dick Cheney, who wants the public to see the great intelligence we got from waterboarding two prisoners 266 times — like the location of those WMD in Iraq and the link to 9/11.
Week of May 25
WOMEN
candidates
Week of May 18 IN THE LATEST OVERSIGHT hearings, AIG's chief tells Congress he's confident and that he thinks taxpayers will be "fully repaid" in three to five years...depending on "market conditions." Meanwhile, lawmakers want AIG to explain why it's still paying millions in bonuses while on the hook for billions.
Week of May 11 CLOSING GUANTANAMO means the remaining detainees will have to be held somewhere else -- or released. Not too many Congressmen have offered relocation to their districts, so the prisoners will have to manage on their own.
Week of May 4 THE SUPREME COURT will get its first Democratic appointee in 15 years. Associate Justice David Souter (who authored the Court's unanimous opinion defending musical parody) is retiring at the end of the term. When he was nominated by the first President Bush, Republicans were sure of a "home run," while Democrats were terrified of the "stealth justice" no one in Washington knew.
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